At the beginning of this essay Kipnis says something stands out to me. “Love is, as we know, a mysterious and controlling force. It has vast power over our thoughts and life decisions. It demands our loyalty, and we, in return freely comply” (Kipnis 749). I think this is the best way to explain love. When there is someone that you really love you do and say things that you never imagine yourself doing. I think this is the main purpose of love and what everyone should feel. Love is not something you just stumble upon I think it is something that grows on you with time.
I believe that if you love someone your willing to go out of your way and do extraordinary things for this person. I do not believe it would be a random person in front of you at the supermarket that you will do those types of things for, because you need to have a deep feeling and connection to this person. In this essay something else Kipnis said stood out to me. “But passion must not be allowed to die! ” (Kipnis 751). I have never been married but I have been in love before. I believe that if there is passion you should never let it die.
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Passion is a strong barely controllable emotion that you have for another person. It is not something that you can stop or pretend to share with someone. Love can and will make you feel as if you are nothing without your other half. You will do and say things that you feel are crazy. Today I think so many people, mostly younger, rush into marriage because they feel as if it is the only way to keep their love for each other alive. I personally believe that love is not something that can be rushed. Do not get me wrong people can be young and fall in love and get married but you have to do it for the right reasons.
I myself would love to find someone to have a deep love for. Love is so hard to explain but there is a passion that you find with someone else and it is not something you can just pretend to feel. I think that if it is meant to be then everything falls into place on its own. Something that I believe personally people are doing now days is getting married and if things do not seem to work out the answer simply is divorce. The divorce rate now days is growing higher and higher. Divorce is not something that is uncommon, I hate to say it but it is something that happens every day.
After a while for one reason or the other people simply want out of the marriage and want to go their separate ways. Some people go into a marriage and come out very quickly; they decide it is simply not for them. On the other hand others stay together for 10 years and more before they decided they want out of the marriage. I personally believe that it is not the world’s job to keep marriages loyal. I do not feel that today marriage is taken seriously anymore because people think that if it does not work out why try and make things better if we can simply just get a divorce.
Honestly what would people do if divorce was not an option? Would people have to learn to work their problems out? Would people just have to be miserable all the time? It is something to stop and think about. I personally believe now days that people honestly do not even think before getting married they are just caught up in the moment. I would say that this essay is a polemic. Kipnis basically argues of the fact that in order to have a good relationship and love someone you have to be able to meet the requirements of mutuality, communication and advanced intimacy.
These are the big issues in relationships today. More people are breaking up and getting divorces because they will not come to a simple compromise to make their relationships work. A couple should have good communication skills. You have to learn to be in everything you do together because it is not just yourself anymore. It is you and your partner the one that you love. Works Cited Kipnis, Laura. “Agaisnt Love. ” McQuade, Donald and Robert Atwan. The Writer’s Presence. Boston: St. Martin’s Bedford, 2009. 748-755.