Autobiography: Social Work and New Boyfriend

7 July 2016

It wasn’t just one event that changed my life but a variety of small happenings that influenced and moulded me into the person I am today. I owe a lot to my mother; she has given me a strong intellect and a keen sense of humour, traits which I consider to be important to my personality. Perhaps a less positive aspect of her character which I also find within myself is stubbornness.

I was welcomed into the world on the 3rd January 1990 by my father Andrew. My mother Carol seemed less enthusiastic about my arrival, something which at the time, was put down to exhaustion. However the relationship between my parents over the first two years of my life became progressively worse. They split up and eventually divorced, leaving me in the sole care of my mother who may as well have been a stranger to me at that point in time.

Autobiography: Social Work and New Boyfriend Essay Example

My earliest memory reminds me of how my Mother seemed incapable or unwilling to give affection even in difficult circumstances, for example, I remember playing outdoors on a snowy winter’s day. In particular I remember sliding down our driveway on a tea tray and crashing face-first into a parked car, knocking my already wobbly front tooth out and banging my left elbow. With blood pouring down my poor little face my friends ran to get my mother as I sat crying in pain. Upon being informed of the incident she came outside, stood me up and sternly said “don’t be such a baby, it’s just a scratch”. The week after I continuously complained to my father about my elbow which after taking me to A and E for an X-Ray revealed it was in fact fractured and that it hadn’t been just a scratch after all. I went to school the following in my sling day feeling ‘cool’ in front of my friends!

Another memory from my school days is seeing my friend’s parents picking her up from school and watching her skip off to the park laughing and smiling. From a distance I saw her fall from the monkey bars hurting her chin on the floor. I watched enviously as her mother brushed her down and hugged her. I couldn’t help but think that a little more compassion from my own mother would have been nice when I had hurt myself.

Eventually my mother met a new boyfriend; she seemed happier but focussed all of her energy on keeping him content. It was then that she made the biggest mistake of her life; a rash decision to move to Kidderminster followed by the trauma of domestic violence which unfortunately I witnessed. These incidents amongst others recurred in my mind and once I had entered my early teens I begged Social Services to take me into their care. Instead they arranged for me to stay temporarily with my father while my mother and I had a number of sessions that allowed us to communicate our thoughts and emotions more effectively. We established a closer relationship and she eventually asked her abusive boyfriend to leave.

Over the years it became apparent that my mother had been suffering from Postnatal Depression throughout the early years of my life. I also came to realise that none of these incidents had ever been intentional. However, with every subsequent boyfriend she regressed into her previous ways.

The final straw for me came when we moved back to Ludlow and my mother introduced me to her new boyfriend. Something seemed strange about him; he was always very ‘touchy-feely’ but on the other hand could be very caring. I continuously analysed every movement, word and action he made and my suspicions were justified when he was taken into custody and charged with two counts of sexual offences. For this he was sentenced to eight and half years in prison and my mother fell into a deep depression. This marked a milestone in my life where I found myself looking after her emotionally despite her not having done the same to me growing up.

Some days were good, others bad. However I felt that at the age of sixteen I needed to leave home and go and live with friends. Over the next six months there was very little contact between my mother and I, and I gradually began to forget the past and realise I still wanted a relationship with her.

Without all the ups and downs I have experienced I wouldn’t be the person I am today. The unhappier aspects of my childhood have made me more independent and rather than dwelling on the past in a negative way I choose instead to draw strength from it and am proud of what I have achieved to date. I have enabled many major life changes, trading in an office job of seven years to become a personal care provider and recently started an access to Higher Education course to study Health and Social Care. I hope to eventually become a Social Worker liaising and helping families in similar situations to which I experienced growing up, using my experiences to help others.

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