Charles – Okay, Dale, now just…
Charles – Okay, Dale, now just where have you been?Dale – I was out there in all that traffic! Those folks don’t know how to drive out there! [BELCHES]Charles – Well, what happened?Dale – Well, I almost died about 48 times, thanks to some stupid drivers out there who don’t know what they’re doing!Mark – Well, it looks like you finally know what it’s like to be around people who can’t drive.Dale – Are you saying I can’t drive?Mark – Especially since you’ve had a beer.Dale – I ain’t had no beers! I’ve been sober! [BELCHES]Mark – Then what explains the belch?Dale – That was the spaghetti and lasagna I ate last night.
Well, those losers, they don’t know what they’re doing? They were driving down the road at who knows how many miles an hour! [BIG BELCH]Charles – Well, I hope you’ve learned your lesson.Dale – I ain’t learned no lesson! [BELCHES] If there’s any lesson I’ve learned, it’s that you can speed. You can treat any highway like the Talladega Superspeedway and get away with it!Mark – No, you can’t! The cops will pull you over! Dale – I ain’t never been pulled over by no cops!Charles – You didn’t?Dale – No! Them stupid cops are just [BELCHES] all stupid over there in the doughnut shop eating doughnuts and drinking coffee! I guess that’s why they’re all obese! They’re busy shoving down doughnuts, drinking coffee, and letting out huge belches, while all the motorists are out there driving stupidly and destroying property! Well, I’m going to go to the kitchen and get me a beer.Charles – We don’t have any beers here!Dale – What do you mean we don’t have no beers here?Charles – We just don’t.Dale – Okay, then, I’m just gonna go into the kitchen and do something. Those people out there are reckless drivers! Don’t nobody need to be driving like that! They’re just stupid! S – T – O – O – P – I – D.Charles – That’s not how you spell “stupid.
Charles – Okay, Dale, now just… Essay Example
“Dale – What? All this time, I thought that was how you spelled “stupid.”Charles – No! “Stupid” has a “u”!Dale – What? I ain’t stupid!Charles – Well, you spelled the word wrong. One “u”, no “o’s”.Dale – Shut up! You don’t even know whom you’re talking to! You ain’t my grammar teacher! I can spell words anyway I wish! If I want to use double negatives in front of you, I’m gonna use double negatives in front of you! Understand?Charles – Why don’t you just go to the kitchen?Dale – That’s where I was going! [BELCHES LOUDLY]Charles – And stop that belching!Dale – I’m afraid I can’t help that! I ate spaghetti and lasagna last night, and those dishes make me belch! Well, changing the subject now. I don’t ever want to drive out there with those stupid losers ever again! Those clowns just run off the road and try to kill everybody! They’re like suicide drivers out there, going off the road and killing everybody and themselves! And another thing! [BELCHES] I don’t ever want to go down a certain road. I don’t ever want to go down Gray Avenue at night time! The traffic lights on that road stay on red forever, and those drivers cut through parking lots and other places, trying to see how many people and cars they can hit and kill while they’re doing so! That’s illegal! Well, can one of you give me a “cerveza”?Mark – What’s that?Dale – You idiot! It’s Spanish for “beer”! [BELCHES]Charles – So you know some Spanish?Dale – Just a little bit. I also know the German word for beer.
Charles – Then what is it?Dale – I’m afraid that’s confidential. I ain’t supposed to tell you. Well, it seems those reckless drivers out there had themselves some beers. They’re over there driving stupidly. One person was driving 85 in a 65.Charles – Well, —Dale: [BELCHES] And another thing! That beach I was going to this weekend, that ain’t gonna happen! It’s 5:00 somewhere, but I don’t think it’s 5:00 six feet under! [BELCHES] I can wait! Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go to the truck and listen to “It’s Five O’clock Somewhere”. Where’s that CD?Charles – What?Dale – You know, the CD? It’s starting to get warm outside, so I’m listening to songs that are perfect for warm weather.
You know “it’s always on five in Margaritaville.”Charles – Get out of here! I’m not going to “Margaritaville!”Dale – And that’s your problem! You have no wish to go to “Margaritaville” and drink your worries away! [BELCHES] Now, I have to catch the next boat to “Margaritaville”! It’s better than hanging around with you losers! I’m going to be a beach bum! I’m out of here! And I’m watching out for those careless drivers who ain’t got no sense in their heads! Well, [belches] I’m gone!