Cheating on Your Partner
When it comes to divorce, I will likely end up being involved. If the police were to get involved in the mess because one of you crazy lunatics decides to do something bizarre, again, I will likely be involved. Divorces that are caused by cheating will affect children as they get older, especially if they are teenagers. It will affect their school life, the way they think about the parent that cheated, and their future. As a teenager myself, this issue can lead to a variety of problems throughout our lives if you are one of those parents with relationship issues because if anything happens to us, it’s on you.
School is the most important thing in my life and I know if I don’t do well, I’m not going to be able to have a future and it will be all because of you. To begin with, teens like me are not necessarily open about their problems, so instead it shows in my progress at school through tests, assignments and homework. According to this: “… studies show that immediately before, during and after a divorce, teens are more likely to experience academic and behavioral difficulties at school” (Brock 3 March 2012) my grades will eventually start decreasing.
I will become more prone to failing school and possibly never having the successful future that I dream of. Secondly, I may end up dropping out of school, like the majority of teens who have done so already: “The high school dropout rate of children of divorced parents is roughly two times higher than that of children of which the parents did not divorce” (McLanahan 3 March 2012). Thirdly, substance abuse, such as smoking or the use of drugs, is a major part of my school life because I depend on it for relief.
Like me, some teenagers will depend on drugs for the rest of their high school lives once divorce takes place: “… teens whose parents had divorced were almost four times more likely to use illicit drugs by age 14 and almost twice as likely to use illicit drugs during their lives” (Dube 3 March 2012). In addition, I would get involved with the wrong crowd to obtain these substances, so I might skip school just to light a cigarette with a few “friends”.
Most teens like me want to stifle the pain inside of us so we won’t have to feel it anymore, and this is what most of us go through; we think it will help us emotionally. Overall, I will have to suffer through school now because of the infidelity and it will make me become a bad person. Teenagers like me will have a mixture of thoughts about the spouse that cheated and will most likely end up having some problems towards you. First and foremost, I may get angry at the one that decided to do the cheating and possibly even become disgusted at their very presence.
Don-David Lusterman, who wrote Infidelity: a Survival Guide, explains: “I have seen kids get very angry with parents who have affairs… ” (Lusterman 3 March 2012). There is no doubt that teens like me will be furious at the parent that cheated, especially since the situation will put me under a lot of stress and make me feel pain for the other parent that is suffering. The parent that committed infidelity will now be despised for life, and maybe even wiped out from my memory.
Furthermore, I would feel embarrassed or ashamed of what had happened. The fact that I have to carry that burden with me forever makes it even worse. I am only a teenager; I am still trying to fit in society: “There is a strong sense of shame about what has happened, especially in adolescents because their identity is developing” (Nogales 3 March 2012). I will never be able to look at you the same anymore. I am getting older and trying to show my worthiness in society and it is definitely not going to be easy after that incident.
Finally, you will no longer be worthy of trust: “The person that you trusted the most lied to you, so everything becomes suspicious” (Nogales 3 March 2012). Initially, I had a feeling something was going on because you had begun to change yourself. You meant the world to me and the fact that you decided to go behind my back and cheat hurts me. You will be wiped out from my life completely. Like most teens do, I considered you my role model. But, of course, that image of you being perfect is completely and utterly shattered now.
All in all, my thoughts about you will make my world turn upside down. Every teen wants a perfect future after high school and having events blocking their way is a far thought, but since one of you were unfaithful, my future plans have officially become ruined. To begin, there is a chance that I will develop trust issues with my boyfriend or girlfriend, which will be a direct result of you being incapable of dealing with your infidelity maturely, as proven in this statistic: “… t’s not just the cheating, but how the parents deal with the crisis that can have a profound effect on the children’s future relationships” (Lusterman 3 March 2012). As a matter of fact, teenagers like me may feel that their boyfriend or girlfriend will be unfaithful, so I may choose to never be committed to a relationship. After everything that has happened, I may feel as if every relationship is doomed to end in some harsh way or another. So what’s the point of even committing myself to one, let alone be in one?
In addition, a majority of teens like me will be at risk of developing health problems because of divorce: “Children of divorce are at a greater risk to experience injury, asthma, headaches and speech defects than children whose parents have remained married” (Dawson 3 March 2012). Furthermore, it will become difficult to socialize with others because of the new problems involving my health. Lastly, I might even blame myself in the future for what happened and start feeling as if everything is my fault, which will cause more pain to swell inside of me. I may even feel confused just like this teenager: “…
As time went on, my hurt grew bigger than my confusion. I started to take my parents’ separation personally, as if it meant they didn’t love me anymore” (“How Divorce Affects Teenagers” 3 March 2012). It can be seen that she took her parents problems personally and speculated that they didn’t love her, which caused her to feel more confused than hurt. My perfect future therefore cannot be retained if you have no sense of understanding what you did was wrong. Children that have divorced parents due to cheating will be affected by it; especially if they are a teen.
They will struggle in school, develop emotional thoughts about the spouse that cheated, and maintain a poor future. Will do you have at least some sympathy for me now? My life has officially been torn apart because of what you did and it’s not going to be easy for me to accomplish a stable life. Cheating really destroys teens like me and it’s not something that I will ever forget. So I hope you realize now that I will never have a normal life like other teens because of what you did to me. It will be a memory for eternity.