All the points made are well argued and supported by an intelligent use of evidence and quotes from the text. The mentioning of Hui is well crafted and shows good independent thinking. Clearly the candidate has a very good understanding of the whole story. Mark range: 13-15 (top end) Organisation and development Organisation and development of the essay are excellent. The essay is carefully planned. Ideas and arguments are effectively developed and skilfully controlled. There is no padding. By pointing out the fact that ‘????????? ,????? in the introduction, the candidate concisely answers the first part of the question and at the same time effectively sets the scene for the discussion. Reasons for the behaviour of the elders and Juexin are discussed in the following three paragraphs. A conclusion related to the theme of the story is drawn in the final short paragraph. The candidate has kept well within the word limit with 489 characters. The quotations have been referenced properly by using numbered footnote. Mark range: 9-10 (top end) Quality of language Language is fluent, varied and appropriate, and shows good assimilation of the original text.
Mark range 5 Overall This essay is an excellent piece of work. It is written well without citation of additional sources. The candidate has avoided cliched ideological terms that can be easily found in a lot of additional sources in the form of commentary or literature review. There is a risk that the latter half of the question, due to its phrasing, could become discursive. However, this does not happen with this candidate. The candidate has adopted a reasoned and mature approach to this essay and demonstrates good independent judgement.