February 2013 A Mothers Story Have you ever considered how becoming a parent could affect your life? I never knew how much a child could change my life until I became a mother. Growing up I never really knew what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go in life. I liked to party and be rebellious. I felt like nobody cared about me, so I didn’t really care about myself or where my life went. When I turned 19, everything that I ever felt, thought, or did, became a major reconsideration when I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, Dalayshia Briana Harris.
During my childhood, I felt like my mother wasn’t there for me, which led me to make a lot of negative decisions in my life. Becoming a mom has made me as my dad would say, “Wake up and smell the coffee”. The one thing that I’m sure about now that I’ve became a mother, is that, I do have a purpose, and I want to be the best role model I can be to my daughter. September 28, 2007 is a date that changed my life forever. Growing up I never really felt like I had a place in this world. My parents got married and had me at a young age. My mom wasn’t quite ready to be a mother, and my dad did the best he could.
My parents divorced when I was twelve, and that day is when my world ended and I felt like no one cared about how the outcome of their decisions would affect me. I thought the anger, loneliness, and my battered emotions, was the way my life would be, so I accepted it. As a child, I tried to numb myself from the pain and move forward in my life. My teenage years were quite memorable, but unfortunately not as positive as I wish they could have been. When I turned sixteen, I felt like school was not important. I could never focus and my behavior left me getting into a lot of trouble.
I chose to drop out of high school and see what else life had in store for me. I started hanging out with the wrong people, which led me to getting a false identification card that said I was twenty-one. Then I began going to adult clubs with these friends. As I entered the club life, it was like a new world to me. I started drinking and partying on a consistent basis. The club scene became so much a part of me that for the next couple of years of my teenage life, that’s all my life consisted of. I had no goals and no positive outlook on my life.
The only thing I became to know and like to do was party and hang out with my friends. When I turned eighteen, little did I know I was in store for some life changing news. When I turned eighteen I officially became an adult. Little did I know that in becoming an actual adult I was about to be hit with the most shocking news ever. One morning I woke up, I just didn’t feel well at all. So the next day I went to the doctor to find out why I was feeling so under the weather. The doctor ran some test as I sat there and patiently waited for the results.
Finally the doctor comes in and says, “Congratulations, you’re pregnant”! I didn’t quite understand, so I asked him to repeat his self once more, so I could make sure I heard right before I went into a complete state of shock. The doctor repeated himself with saying, “Congratulations, you’re pregnant”! My whole world started spinning. I didn’t know how to take the news. I was scared and confused. I didn’t really know how to take care of myself, better yet bring a child in this world. Before going to the doctor the only thing I had become immune to doing is partying and drinking.
Now I had to reconsider my whole life. Being a mom I never really considered that lifestyle before. Now I was faced with a decision that was going to change the rest of my life. I didn’t really know what to do, however, all I knew is that I was pregnant. During my pregnancy I stop drinking, but continued to party. Partying was a path I continued down, because that was all I knew, and the friends I thought I had were the only people who I felt cared about me. I continued to go to the club until I was eight months pregnant. By this time, I was far enough to know that I was having a girl.
I had put on enough weight, where being in the clubs became miserable. I just wanted to rest, something I had not done in a long time. As I became further along in my pregnancy, I started to think about what I was going to do and where I was going to be once I had my daughter. When I first became pregnant my mom told me she didn’t want anything to do with me, but as I got closer to my due date she became more accepting. I packed my stuff up and decided to go back home to my mom’s house, where I could be to myself and focus on my future until I delivered. I spent the remainder of my pregnancy at my mom’s house.
I had nothing but time to rest and think about the future I was soon to be faced with me and my unborn child. As I thought about my future my mind was still everywhere, and uncertain about what I was going to do. I didn’t know how to be a mom or how I was going to take care of a child. My due date was set for September 22, and was getting closer and closer. It was September, 28 2007, and the weather was beautiful and warm. I was set to deliver my daughter on September 22, but my baby was running late, guess she was just not ready to come in the world yet.
September 28, I was supposed to go to the hospital and be induced since my baby hadn’t been quite ready to come on the original due date. When I got to the hospital I ended up not getting induced, because I went straight into labor. After twelve hours of labor, the time had come for me to push. After my first three pushes I felt a major release of pressure. When I looked up, there she was, my beautiful baby girl! After spending two days in the hospital, I got to bring my daughter home. From that point I knew my life would change forever.
When I looked at my daughter, everything I ever felt missing in my life as far as the love, neglect, and loneliness started to go away. All I knew was that I wanted to love and be the best mom I could be for my daughter. From that moment I brought my daughter home is when I realized that I was somebody in life. I wanted to change, so I could reflect, and be the most positive person that I could be for myself and child. Today in my life, if someone were to ask me if I ever considered being a parent and how it could affect my life, I could honestly say “Yes”, because now I am a parent and have truly adapted to the word sacrifice.
Once I became a mom I wanted to be the best possible role model I could be for my daughter. I knew for me to be a good role model, I had to work on myself to set a good example for my child. Everything that wasn’t important to me when I was a teenager had become goals for me to accomplish as a mother. I went back to school and got my GED, and now I am a college student. I no longer go to the clubs or drink. I’ve realized that there is way more to life than what you settle for. Now I can say I am a great role model not only for myself, or my daughter, but for anyone.