How God Changed My Life and Made Me Believe
I was raised with Christian beliefs, but I had a difficult time with my faith in my younger days. I was also self-centered and boastful. I tried things that are considered rebellious, and most of the time I easily gave in to dangerous and alluring things. I followed my heart where it led me. I started to watch pornography when I was 11.
I committed a “one night stand” when I was 16. From time to time I watched nude videos, and, as time went by, the church, my family, and school became much less important to me.Before I knew it, my whole life was wrapped up in vanity. In school, even though I was an above-average student, because I was a people pleaser, I kept trying to improve myself to earn love and respect from everyone around me. I used to pretend that I was better than everyone. As far as I can remember, I had also been fascinated with searching for “the meaning of life. ” Growing up, I attended church almost every Sunday.
I read almost the entire Bible, but I didn’t really understand it.But inspite of who I was back then, various people kept on prophesying over me, saying that I would become a pastor someday. However, I kept on saying in my mind, “What?! Pastor? Duh! It’s Jologs! Baduy! ” Many times I refused to accept it, to the point that I even rebuked it. For me, Pastors were not fashionable and they don’t care about how they look. One day, in my loneliness, I spoke to God and asked for His help. I believe His answer came when I attended my first youth camp on April 29, 2007.It was during an altar call that I heeded His call and felt God moving wonderfully in a loving and powerful way.
A great peace came into my heart. Though my circumstances did not change immediately, still I got great peace and joy in my heart. No words could ever express what I felt that day as I knelt and cried before the Lord. For the first time in my life I felt that God was present in my life. It was a very strange feeling for me. I felt very peaceful. I wanted this feeling to last for good.
I made a decision to turn away from all my wrongdoings. I surrendered my life to Him. I asked God for a heart that will follow Him no matter what. That time, I received the calling from the Lord to commit my life to a full time ministry and eventually become a Pastor. Yet there were still some questions in my mind. “Is it really You Lord? Did You really call me to be a Pastor? How can I be one in my situation right now? No resources… Bad situation… Everything starting on the wrong foot! If it’s really you Lord, then turn this all around! ”Two weeks later, one of our Pastors approached me and offered me to study in a Bible school. In my mind, I was thinking “Whoa! Is this true?! Am I daydreaming?! Our pastor is offering me to go to a Bible school? Amazing! It’s really you Lord who called me and no one else.
” Just like what our Pastor had always said, “When God qualifies you, no one can disqualify you. ” Now, after realizing and learning many things in life, I can boldly say, with great confidence, that some Pastors are fashionable and others are cool; actually they rock my world.It has been years since that time, and I have not returned to pre-marital sex. I have continued to turn to Christ and I’ve seen how I can help others in His name. My life keeps becoming more and more enjoyable; it’s better than I could have ever imagined. I am now God-centered. And not only that, God has also blessed me with many friends and mentors.
My life is not miserable any longer. I have been following Christ since I accepted Him as my Lord and my Savior. He has changed my entire life.