How to win friends and influence people
Amanda Elizabeth Carnagey , worked with his father on the farm. The family owed money, so as a young boy he had to get up at 4 A. M. very day to milk the cows and help on the farm, then to go to school. He managed to get through school and graduated from the State Teacher’s College in Warrensburg, Missouri. Carnegie’s first Job was selling correspondence learning courses to farmers. Then he worked as a salesman for Armour & Company, the largest slaughterhouse and Meatpacking Company in Chicago. He was selling their meats, soap, lard, and other products. Carnegie was the most successful salesman in Omaha, and made his sales territory the national leader of the company.
In 1911 he quit the Job as a salesman in order to pursue a lifelong dream to become a lecturer with then popular adult education courses in Chautauqua, near Jamestown, New York. However, he ended up instead attending the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York City, then he tried acting with a touring troupe, but the production where he played a role soon ended. He returned to New York, unemployed and nearly broke, and was living at the YMCA on the 125 Street. There he tried writing but without any success.
In 1912 Dale Carnagey persuaded the YMCA hostel manager to allow him to teach a class on public speaking. He got himself a classroom in return for 80% of the net proceeds. Carnagey was improvising from his first session, and as he run out of aterial, he suggested that students speak about “something that made them angry. ” Carnagey noticed that the technique made his students unafraid to speak before an audience. Although the same technique was known since ancient philosophical schools, and has been widely used in group therapy, albeit Dale Carnagey developed his own approach.
He quickly became a successful teacher capitalizing on the average American’s desire to have more self-confidence. In 1913 Dale Carnagey published his first bestselling book: “Public Speaking and Influencing Men in Business”. In 1914 he was earning 500 dollars a week, which at hat time was the price ofa new Ford Model T. In 1916 Dale Carnagey was able to rent the New York’s main venue, the Carnegie Hall, and his lectures were sold out. In 1919 he changed the spelling of his name from Carnagey to Carnegie.
In 1926 he published the first collection of his writings titled “Public Speaking: a practical Course for Business Men. ” The book became a bestseller, and the author became rich. However, he lost all his savings in the stock market crash of 1929. Dale Carnegie learned to accept the worst that can happen, then proceed to improve on the worst. His own experience was the source for his bestselling books: “Public Speaking and Influencing Men in Business” and “How to Win Friends and Influence People” (1936). The latter book had 17 printings in the first year.
He also wrote “Lincoln the Unknown,” a biography of President Abraham Lincoln. Carnegie developed famous courses on self-improvement, salesmanship, and corporate training programs, as well, as programs for improvement in public speaking skills and interpersonal skills. Dale Carnegie died at age 66, of a Hodgkin’s lymphoma, complicated with uremia, on November 1, 1955, in Forest Hills, New York. He was laid to rest in the Belton cemetery, Cass County, Missouri, USA. Now that you have a little knowledge on Mr. Carnegie, let me get into the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”.
I choose to summarize Chapters 1, 4, 5. Chapter 1: If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive In 1931, Francis “Two Guns” Crowley, a gangster and assassin who was known for having killed a police officer in cold blood after he asked him for his driving license, was arrested in his girlfriend’s apartment after a siege in which one hundred police officers were mobilized! He was taken alive, but, believing he was as good as dead, he had taken the time to write a letter. Was it a letter of repentance, a letter of remorse for the crimes he had committed?
No, it said “Under my Jacket beats a weary heart, but a good one that would not hurt anyone. ” He was condemned to the electric chair. When he arrived at the execution chamber, was he full of excuses, did he declare that he was experiencing remorse? No. He said “This is my punishment for wanting to defend myself. ” A1 Capone, the most notorious gangster of all time, himself said: “l have spent the best years of my life iving pleasure to people and amusing them, and what has been my reward? Insults and the life of a hunted man. Often, gangsters, criminals and wrongdoers Justify their behavior with a whole lot of logical or fallacious reasoning. If criminals as notorious as Francis Crowley or A1 Capone consider themselves innocent, what do the people we meet every day who are Just like you and I think of themselves? This is a universal law that is sometimes difficult to accept: 99 times out of 100, man considers himself innocent, no matter how serious his crime. Criticism is therefore useless ecause it puts the individual on the defensive and forces him to Justify himself, and it is dangerous because it damages their self-esteem and causes bitterness.
Criticism is like a carrier pigeon: the person we want to blame and correct will do anything to justify himself and will condemn us in return. Or, often, they exclaim: “l don’t see how I could have acted any differently! ” Rather than condemn people, it is better to try and understand them, to discover the motive for their actions. This is much nicer and more productive than criticizing, and it makes us more tolerant, understanding, and ood Principal # 1 Don’t criticize, don’t condemn and don’t complain. Chapter 4 this and you’ll be welcome anywhere Do you like dogs?
If you do, why? Does it by any chance have something to do with the fact dogs are completely loyal, love you spontaneously and sincerely, and make a big fuss over you when you come home? Do you like it when they Jump up on you wagging their tail, with their tongue hanging out, before the door is fully open, losing themselves completely in welcoming you? We all know people who try their whole lives to get people interested in them. Wasted effort! People are only interested in themselves. They think about themselves morning, noon and night.
When you look at a photo ofa group that you are part of, who do you look at first? If you want people to be interested in you, you must first be interested in them. Whether we are a beggar or a king, we like those who admire us. Do you want people to like you? Then write down anniversaries on your calendar and send a card, welcome people with warmth and enthusiasm on the telephone, show your admiration and your sincere interest when opportunity presents itself. Publius Syrus said it over two thousand ears ago: We are interested in others when they are interested in us.
As with all the advice in this book, this must be applied with total sincerity. This way you might even touch the heart of the most powerful and unreachable person. Principal # 4: Be genuinely interested in others. Finally Chapter 5: A simple way to make a good first impression Actions speak louder than words. A smile says: “l like you,” “l am happy to see you,” miour presence makes me happy,” etc. Obviously, it needs to be a sincere, wide and spontaneous smile that seduces and comforts, not a mechanical and false mile that irritates instead of pleasing.
Often it communicates to us and can change our grimmest mood in an instant, whenever we smile back. A smile is so important that it is can also be heard in our voice. Your telephone voice will change if you smile; try it and see. Try this: For one week, once an hour, smile your widest, sincerest smile possible, be nice to others, and appreciate their company, because we must be happy in the company of our peers if we want them to be happy in ours. If this is difficult for you, tell yourself that it is Just one week and you can stop after that if you don’t like it.
Principal # 5: Have a smile I choose these chapters because they were the most influential and also the most relevant to me as far as my Job and how I want the employees I manage to perceive me. The 3 principles I took from this book are important to me because as a manager IVe made the mistake of criticizing, not caring about my impression on my employees and also not showing and interest in my workers need or even concerns. IVe taken a lot from this book as far as how people view themselves and how to make a lasting impression in a positive light as a manager, leader, friend and parent. This was a truly inspiring book.