6 June 2019

There I stood kneeling before a concrete slab waiting eagerly for a response that never came. It never mattered how much I cried or how much I begged, she never answered. I kissed the stone that stood between my sister’s bones and me. “I need you,” I whispered as I got up, and walked away tears raining down my face.
It must have been the beginning of March because the bitter cold of winter was beginning to recede. The barren trees still glistened with the left over snow like twinkling diamonds beautiful and all alone. The schools had just announced spring break and all I could think about was how ominous the air felt as it spiraled through my bedroom window. My brother had gone out and that feeling persisted all throughout that dark night. It was a penetrating feeling that came over me it made me shutter as it pulled through my bones. In the corner on my shelf there is a framed photograph of a beautiful little girl with green emerald eyes. An overwhelming need to hold the image came over me and I grabbed it and placed it on my heart I knew it was a sign. The phone rang in that moment and my heart dropped. I knew immediately something was wrong. A police officer was on the other line his voice was so calm and I did not understand why. The officer had said that my brother was found on the frozen ground unconscious. I did not know how to react, how to respond, so I became strong. I walled up my emotions and stood by my mom who had already lost a child. We could not lose my brother. I love him so much. He is my blood my rock. I ran up to his immobile body and I grabbed his scarred and scraped head and I cradled it in my arms and I told him I needed him. I kissed him and I promised to protect him no matter what.
Here I am all grown up and ready to begin my life kneeling before a stone slab in the middle of a cold icy cemetery. Looking to my angel for guidance, comfort, and strength, because of her I know who I am and who I want to be. I rose up and kissed the stone in front of me, where we laid the body of an angel. She died so young, so helpless only ten days old. My Jacqueline, my sister, taught me that a child is vulnerable and innocent and every life is precious. Through child social work I can try my best to heal the hearts of children who were victims of circumstances beyond their control. That is why my angel was here on this earth for such a short period of time. To change lives.

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