Lies and Conversation
Lies and Conversation Deborah Tannen The thesis statement in Deborah Tannen essay is “This episode crystallizes the irony that although American men tend to talk more than women in public situations, they often talk less at home. And this pattern is wrecking havoc with marriage. ” Her essay is based on finding reasons why men and women have such a big problems in communication. In my opinion she succeeded in giving us basic reasons of our differences between men.
The first reason lays in “childhood socialization that make talk between women and men like cross-cultural communication. ” The author points out on the fact that bonds between girls are based on talking when boys on actions. The second reason is how men listen, what their body language tells us and how we decode it. For example, when a man lie on the floor and close his eyes when we want to talk to him we decode it as a complete unwillingness to pay attention to what will be talked about. But for the man it’s just a form of concentration on the subject, in this case the talk.
The other thing is how we receive the information, women in conversation make more” listener-noise when men give silent attention. ” According to Deborah Tannen, women interpret silence as no attention but men on the other side stream of listener-noise interpret as an interruption. I think that all these mentioned reasons are the start to the end if won’t be taken in the consideration. Our differences are not something that should be judged, they need to be accepted and respected. And if we do that, better changes in our communication with each other will follow.