Listen to Your Parents Speech
Why should you listen to your parents? It seemed that such a simple question should not cause controversy. However, insisting on unquestioning obedience, parents can get the wrong kind of love of their children, which they count on. What should be the basis of the relationship between parents and children?
Naughty Children and Styles of Upbringing
Why did disobedient children not please their parents? Adults have to make efforts: to restrain, control, repeat, refuse, punish and prevent in order to make such children behaving “normally.” They do not want to strain themselves in making children listen to your parents. It would be more convenient for the child to be controlled, like a toy with a remote control.Nevertheless, development specialists are not inclined to sympathize with the parents of disobedient children – they, on the contrary, are alarmed by obedient children dependent on parental will.
Listen to Your Parents Speech Essay Example
In difficult or unusual situations, instead of mobilizing, they lose and pass. In the family circle, this is not visible. But coming to life, they show a very low level of adaptability and survive only in closed, strictly organized disciplines communities or in conditions of complete stagnation, when one day looks like another.Obedience often means the absence of negative emotions in children: “good” boys and girls never get angry, they obediently react even to parental aggression. They are taught not to disturb parents and other important people, not to create problems, not to be angry, and so on. Growing up in conditions of hard taboos, together with bad emotions they suppress the positive. They do not know how to rejoice, and they feel uncomfortable even on their birthday.
The style of parenting models the overall orientation of the child’s personality and its degree of obedience.
- The authoritarian style is the active suppression of the will of the child, and today not only the fathers but also mothers gravitate to it. At first, the children are literally trained, that is, they force them to repeat the commands many times until the performance reaches a high speed so that there was no time to think. The task of education is solved in the same way: do not argue that it is interesting and what is not, learn everything by heart, if you do not understand.
- On the contrary, democratic style implies the right to vote and the child’s involvement in activities. And although some things are not discussed, because they do not fall within the responsibility of the child, the basic format of communication between the parent and the child are not orders, but an agreement. Children brought up in this vein do not ask the question – should you always listen to your parents, because they know that parents are not dictators, but advisers.
- There is also a mixed style, in which parents sometimes tighten the “nuts”, and sometimes weaken. Children adapt to it, living their carefree life from “flogging” to “flogging.”
Two Main Consequences
Parents experience excessive happiness if the child is obedient. In fact, duplicity and indifference are the two main consequences of this behavior.
Keeping a double life, one for the parents and the other for oneself becomes the usual behavior for the child. Normal relationships with peers, minor pranks, reckless entertainment are hidden from the parental eye. It’s convenient for him: the adults are calm and do not yell at seizures, and he enjoys life.
And often you can observe the parents’ sincere surprise when they learn about the true behavior of the child, for example, from the teacher in the school. Keeping a double life is a defense against uncomprehending parents, but the manifestation of apathy is more dangerous. There is complete indifference to the surrounding world and the most terrible – to yourself. There is no own opinion, there is an eternal alarm, how will parents react to a specific action.
In the child, a feeling of own impotence and uselessness arises, and the realization of this comes with age. Meanwhile, adults are immensely happy with their obedient child. Such behavior, in their opinion, is worthy of praise.
Apathy, indifference, lack of social activity are the main consequences of “wonderful obedience” for the joy of parents. As a result, unfortunate citizens grow up creating the gray mass of their country.By obeying adults, the child loses his personal desires and aspirations. Becoming a slave and obedient, he will be uninteresting to other people. For the first time such problems emerge in the school, they become more serious in the institute, especially if the child, after listening to his parents, went to a different university than he wanted. And all this is achieved by parents who want good. This is the same situation when the question when should you not listen to your parents has a direct answer.
But how to live with children, if they are not required obeying? The answer is obvious. Mutual relations of parents with children should be built on respect, as, for example, with friends, co-workers, neighbors. Ask the child to do something, but do not order. Try to negotiate, discuss the problem. Consider the child’s arguments if he stubbornly refuses something. Children should help when they themselves want it, and forced help is more like bondage. Accustoming to work forcibly can lead to a complete aversion to it.
Love for children is inherent in nature, and respect is not. Respect for children will lead to the most fruitful results. At the first stages of growing up it will be difficult to accept delusional children’s thoughts, but eventually, the child will also change, knowing that his parents are on equal terms with him.Sincere, conscious obedience is possible only in a relationship of trust when the child recognizes that the parent is still coping better with the problems. Unlike strict, unconditional subordination in confidential relations, a child can ask questions that interest him, without fear of incurring the wrath of the parent. Parents should often ask questions to the child, making it clear that the problem may have several solutions and now you are thinking about which option to prefer. “How do you think it’s best to do it? Can I count on your help? Can I ask you to do this?”.
Only an approach based on trust and respect can help to grow a self-confident personality, and even the question do you have to listen to your parents when your 18 will not arise in such situation.