Men and Women Verbal and Non Verbal Communication
Men and women throughout their lives exhibit many different characteristics and traits which makes them the person that they are. However, societal involvement has a lot to do with the way men and women are raised. There are many factors throughout life that society can sway when making decisions. Exploring topics such as “showing support, troubles talk, the point of the story, relationship talk, and public speaking”, and examining whether these topics are gender exclusive or that they are overlapped will help explain the phenomenon of our way of thinking.Support is something that everyone needs in their lives. It gives them the positive reinforcement that they need.
Many times in life at different stages, we come across challenges that require us to seek the support of others. Many times, if we don’t have a support group around us, it is difficult to find that support that we so badly need.
Showing Support is and can be given by either gender. For example, we find mothers showing and giving support to their loved ones. One may read this statement and feel that fathers do not show support. This would be an erroneous assumption.Showing support can be seen in different levels and forms.
Therefore, showing support is an action that is often times exhibited by both genders. Communication is an essential part of life. Men and women have various styles of communication. This is why they seem to find themselves on opposite ends of the spectrum when having “Troubles Talk”. Due to the difference in communication styles between men and women, “troubles talk” is not easy to handle or even comprehend. Far too often, we find women speaking from the heart and women attaching emotions to what they are discussing.One example I can recall is of my parents deciding when to set my marriage date.
My father was adamant on setting it on one date. However, my mother was emotionally charged and wanted to have it on another specific date. This particular example has shown me that this is something that overlaps into both genders. For many people, making a point nowadays, either requires some elaborate illustration or very clear but persuasion. Many of today’s women will go off the deep in trying to prove “the point of the story”. Their stories are so convoluted that it is extremely difficult to decipher the point of the story itself.For instance, my co-worker Lillian apparently knows everything about everyone in the office.
Her stories will linger on and on for quite some time. Often times, I find myself asking Lillian, what was the point of that story? I find that this is gender exclusive for women. Relationship Talk is something that men absolutely hate discussing. One can even go as far as say that most men think talking “relationship talk” is and can be considered a sin. Men avoid this type of talk at all cost. Women on the other hand, have had the desire to have “relationship talk” as often as possible.I feel that women are more concerned about the condition and status of their relationships.
There are for too many examples that can be mentioned, but I have seen women in my past calling their husbands or boyfriends during breaks or lunch to have relationship talks. This is the one type of communication that is very gender exclusive. “Public speaking” is a means of communication that is very crucial in corporate America. It is something that is present in if not all then most forms of occupations. Most jobs require some form of public speaking.Others make a living off teaching “public speaking” and how to correct ones speeches. This communication form is not exclusive to any one nation, culture, race or even gender.
Public speaking is something that everyone should know how to do and feel confident. It can open up many doors in a person’s career and can prove to be financially beneficial. Therefore, public speaking can be seen as something that overlaps to both genders as it is something both genders most do throughout their lives in every mode of life including school, work, and other societal areas.Gender experience or expectation is something a man or a woman would experience throughout their life. As a child, you listen and observe everything intentionally and unintentionally. Sex is just a biological difference between men and women on the other hand gender is one of the universal dimensions on which masculine and feminine differences are based. We usually tend to do what we see regardless of it’s a male or female act.
Majority of the people I saw as I was growing were male but still my mom forced me to do stuff that people of my sex would normally do.Being the only sister of four brothers it was little hard for me to differentiate what was right for me being a girl and what was wrong. Now, I can easily differentiate between femininity and masculinity. Even though I am a very feminine type of woman I still have certain gender issues. For example, I talk too loud, laugh out loud, I usually have my sleeves rolled up and sit with my legs open with I am in my jeans and according to my understand I learned that from my brothers and father. I remember my mom ould always pick on all these things and tell me that girls don’t do that, they are supposed to speak politely and with tenderness, have a feminine laugh, they should have a nice and delicate walk and also they should dress girly and that makes me different from my father and brothers. My mom never forced me what sexuality I should choose but according to my culture and religion gay or lesbian relationships/marriages are not allowed and I am expected to follow that as well.
I have never had any issues regarding choosing my sexuality when because I did not even know that such relationships even exist in reality until I came to United States.I come from a conservative cultural background. Many things have changed with time for example, back in times man and woman friendship was never acceptable like they are now, they could not hang out or take classes together. We had separate sections for girls and guys. Having that I mind, I have always thought since girls or guys don’t have an open access to an opposite gender that’s why they try to find sexual happiness in the same sex. But later I learned that it’s a person’s choice what sexuality they want to be in.I know that if I was not straight my parents and society would not accept my sexuality because of the way they were brought up and taught.
Proxemics nonverbal communication is how far we position ourselves from people or objects and haptic nonverbal language is how much we need to touch, tolerate, receive, and initiate with someone. Being a part of conservative culture I am not a touchy and feely person. I like to stay in my own bubble and try to maintain my distance while to anybody especially with men. I don’t like anybody entering in my bubble or try to invade my space. I work around gay and straight men.To me they are all men it doesn’t matter if they are gay or not. I just don’t feel comfortable when men touch me while talking.
From my experience and also the study shows that men tend to use more haptic nonverbal language than women. For example, I met a guy at the mall randomly. He was shopping for his girlfriend. All of sudden he came to me and asked me if he could borrow me for a size because his girlfriend was same physique as mine. I got little paranoid and fearful too because he kept coming closer to me and touch me on my shoulder from time to time while we were talking.That made me really uncomfortable, and I knew he didn’t have any bad motive he was just a closer talker. I remember we were all over the store, he would come close and closer and I would keep moving away to maintain my bubble.
I can’t speak up when it comes to things like that. I won’t call myself a weak person but it’s the way I was molded in from the childhood. But I realized after that it’s not safe for me to let anybody enter my bubble. It could harm me in many ways. That’s why I try to be more open and use strong nonverbal and verbal communication to link with men because I know they understand what a woman is trying to say.