Positive Psychology and Sex
Positive Psychology and Sex Name: Institution: Course: Date: Tutor: 1. 0 Role of emotions in sex and orgasm Brain scanning studies show that sex is a major turn off for women. The brain scans show that many parts of the female brain actually switch off. This shows that women lack emotional feelings during orgasms (Praise, 2009). A research was carried out on thirteen healthy partners. The research compared three states of rest; faked orgasm, stimulated clitoris and clitoris stimulated to orgasm point while the women lay with her head inside a PET scanner.
The results from the study showed that stimulation of he women triggers the brain’s sensory part known as the primary compensatory cortex but inhibits the stimulus of the hippopotamus and the amazedly which are the regions responsible for anxiety and alertness (Praise, 2009). Several regions of the brain were also found to be active during orgasm as compared to the resting state.
One of these regions is the preferential cortex. This study confirms the historical knowledge that women cannot find sex enjoyable if they have distractions, worries and are not relaxed.
Anxiety and fear levels have to be low for a woman to have an orgasm. The explanation offered by Praise, (2009)for this extraordinary behavior is that emotions are switched off in the brain during sex and that the individual finds more importance in the chance of producing an offspring than the risk of surviving. This extraordinary behavior can also be seen to march with hares during the breeding season when the fear of predators is overridden by the mating urge (Hand, 2006).
An explanation has not however been given to explain the extreme deactivation in the various parts of the brain during orgasm(Hillier, Wood ; Bolton, 2006). The cerebellum, which is responsible for movement coordination and to some extent regulation of emotions, was the only part found to be activated more during the female orgasm. It is not clear what this cerebellum activation relates to. According to Hutchinson, (2003), most people believe women are more emotional in sex but the above illustrated neurology of orgasm proves otherwise.
Contrary to some people, sexual desire is also an emotion. This is because an emotion is caused by a significant change in feelings. Sexual desire is therefore not Just a biological urge nice it involves personal concern, intensity, brevity and a partial perspective. Sex is an important emotion since it ensures continuous survival of the human race. Teatimes a person to better want to understand the perspective of other people on emotions and feelings regarding to sex (Hutchinson, 2003).
This is because a person who badly wants sex is forced to listen to the wants of others and gets an obligation of understanding their perspective. Through sex, a person realizes the importance of others since one cannot do it alone. I t is due to this act that people are able to work ND cooperate together with those of the opposite sex. According to Napoleon Hill, sex is the strongest human emotion (Hutchinson, 2003). Learning about the opposite sex helps learn more about sex and through sex, people are able to appreciate the huge diversities between them.
Sometimes sex can be, to a larger extent, be considered to be more important than love itself in terms of emotions (Kirsch ; Becker, 2007). This is because even though love makes a person to give positive contribution to society, sex goes a step further and requires one to learn about the other person (Siegel, 2010). 2. Role of fantasies in sex and orgasm Hutchinson, (2003), states that the most common types of orgasm include clitoral orgasm, vaginal orgasm and G-spot orgasm. Most people however do not recognize the psychological orgasm.
This is an orgasm that arises purely from thinking about sex. It can be either from recalling past experiences or fantasizing on new experiences. It can also be referred to as mental masturbation and occurs with no physical stimulation whatsoever (Peptides, Burnham, 2006). The female orgasm is very complex and therefore the psychological orgasm might be easily written off as a myth. Psychological orgasm is achieved through mental stimulation achievement of an arousal without genital stimulation and without exchange of body fluids or friction (The Lovers Guide, 2012).
This proves the widely known theory of ability. The theory of achieving orgasm through imagination can be supported by the fact that the brain releases various chemicals during different tasks (Hutchinson, 2003). Many women have also been seen to get wet from talking about sex on phones or cyber. This shows that female orgasms can be induced in several ways. Male orgasms can also be stimulated through psychology. This is proved by the fact that some men experience wet dreams without a physical stimulation.
Most psychologists however claim psychology to be more common in women than men. Frigidity, which is the failure of a woman to reach orgasm during sex, has been claimed by experts to be caused by psychological issues rather than anatomical issues in women. Norman (2009) explains that all female orgasms arise out of the clitoris since it is the centre of sensual activity in females. The clitoris is the only area in women capable of reaching sexual climax and achieving orgasm. The clitoris is however not efficiently stimulated ruing conventional sexual positions leaving women to be frigid.
Women have also been able to reach orgasms through fetishes and fantasies. The stimulation is purely psychological but the orgasm is manifested physically (Broody ; Costa, 2008). Orgasm through fantasy shows that the brain is the most critical part in sexual inter course. Only 2% of women have reported achieving orgasm by the process of thought although this low number could be because very few women try it (Norman, 2009). The process of achieving the orgasm requires that the stimulation comes from fantasy sexy thoughts in the mind.
Research through monitoring equipment showed that self-induced imagery orgasms caused similar sexual responses such as pupil dilation, increased blood pressure and heart rate to a person achieving orgasm from cervical or vaginal stimulation (Bubbler, 2011). The regions of the brain that were triggered during cervical and vaginal physical stimulation were the same that were activated in self-induced imagery. The parts include the anterior consulate, hippopotamus, the nucleus acumen’s and the VPN (Norman, 2009). To achieve sexual pleasure, one NAS to touch only on very sexy thoughts and relax into them.
One also has to know his or her sexual triggers and choose to concentrate on these thoughts more. 3. 0 Effects of internet pornography on sex/organism Pornography addiction over a long period of time leads to masturbation which alters the chemistry of brain and eventually leads to brain damage. According to Dodge (2007), in his study about neuropsychiatry of the brains he identified that the human brain has the ability to grow and change over time depending on its exposure to the environment and through training.
The human brain is actually very complex and contains many interconnected neurons which processes information by receiving signals which are later integrated to the required form. Several researches that have been carried out show that brain plasticity is actually a physical change which allows refining or weakening connections of the neurons(Dodge, 2007). Exposure of the brain to pornography leads to a progressive change over time either physically, chemically and in its functionality. Pornography gives individuals sensations that are pleasurable and they may end up neglecting other important duties and leave them unattended.
Masturbation, at times can result from viewing of pornographic materials in the internet. It involves the stimulation of the brain that leads to release of dopamine into the bloodstream and hence the achievement of a pleasurable feeling (Cookbook, 2007). The brain can also be triggered to release dopamine into the blood stream after the viewing of erotic images. The sensation is a consequence of a progressive number of steps which start with viewing pornographic images. This is followed by an urge to stimulate pleasure neurons in the brain and temptation to relieve these sensations results to masturbation.
Continuous exposure to pornographic materials leads to changes in the structure of the brain due to reproducibility changes which causes addiction to that behavior. Dodge (2007) notes that addiction to pornographic materials ends up causing long time changes in the brain structure and functionality. Large amounts of chemicals such as extinction, serotonin and dopamine are found in large quantities in the blood after prolonged exposure to pornography and are all involved in increasing sexual desires (Cookbook, 2007).
With time, the pornographic images become engraved in individual’s brains and once combined with continuous masturbation results to brain damage that is both chemical and biological in nature. Research by neurotransmitters also show that visual image traveling from the eye to the brain takes place in a split of a second and creation of memories takes place instantly, therefore each pornographic image viewed makes the brain change thus causing a progressive brain damage (Cutter;Glean, 2007). Addiction to pornography has also been believed to cause psychological and physiological effects that are instructive.
In many couples who are married, it has been determined that there are more problems in their sexual relationship in cases where either of the partners has been addicted to watching orangeroot (Lambert, 2012). The sexual urge to have intercourse is reduced and the partner has to fantasize on a particular pornography they watched to become aroused. There is also reported low attraction of partners to their spouses as they are not able to act like the stars they watch in pornography movies (Dodge, 2007).
This has led to many relationships break ups and more violence erupting between couples. It has also been noted that most of the couples where either of them is an addict to pornography snowed less commitment to their spouses. It NAS also played a ole in the increased rates of infidelity in marriages as the partner engages in extra- marital affairs with the hope of getting sexual satisfaction from a different partner (Lambert, 2012). Though there are few benefits that have been associated with pornography to relationships, its limitations actually outweighs the advantages by far. . 0 Feeling of vulnerability in sex The intensity of love in couples is maintained higher by having behaviors that are affectionate to one another such as kissing and hugging. Vulnerability has actually been identified as a strong factor that facilitates the success of intimate relationships teens partners and determines the affection intensity between them. Brown has had a lot of research studies in an attempt to understand what influences a strong social connection between people in a relationship (Sepal, 2012).
She discovered that vulnerability is a key ingredient to a successful relationship which translates to good sex. Vulnerability enables partners to take the risk and uncertainty in courageously expressing their emotional connection to the other partner despite lack of surety of their partner’s response. In a social relationship vulnerability is meeting that is very essential and individuals should express themselves without the fear of rejection because of the weaknesses that may be associated with them (Cutter&Glean, 2007).
Truthfulness is an attribute that improves the well being of individuals and thus their relationships. It is also noted that openness and vulnerability makes people in relationships become more attractive to one another and love in them grows progressively. Vulnerability makes it possible for a man to share his problems or feelings with his wife and the woman also does the same and OTOH offer a listening ear to each other (Sepal, 2012). The assurance that partners in a relationship care and have confidence to share their feeling with one another leads to a good love relationship and therefore successful and fulfilling sex.
Vulnerability has in depth been identified as key in giving meaningful connection in relationships and leads to increased passion, Joy and love between partners. The couples who treat their spouses in a friendly manner and show love and care despite their shortcomings or falling from time to time, mostly have a fulfilling relationship (Cutter&Glean, 2007). The sense of belonging makes the partners in a relationship to enjoy being with their partners and thus have a fulfilling sex. It is always important that the partners in a relationship think positively about the welfare of their spouses always.
This is the key to intensive love that progresses over the years and it prevents the partners hurting one another intentionally, and in circumstances where there is misunderstanding between them they are able to solve their differences in an amicable manner (Cookbook, 2007). Men are the ones who are mostly found to have a challenge in becoming vulnerable and they rarely want to how who they are in reality. Vulnerability from both parties in a relationship will enable couples to confidently express themselves to their spouses as they are making love and this will significantly improve their sex life. . 0 Effective communication in sex It is important to talk about sex with one’s partner so as to communicate personal feelings and ideas around sexuality, love and relationships. Couples ought to thrash out sex-related issues like pregnancy, expectations from each other, birth control, sex styles, among many others (Herbicide, 2 ) When this is done, they do not become sexual in ways they never intended or do not feel quite comfortable about. This is not always the case for most people however, primarily because our cultures more or less deter us from discussing sex and related issues.
We should bring up sex talk way before we become intimate; in situations that are not sexual. This way, we will be more open to each other. The couple should patently clarify each other’s feelings. The topic should be introduced in a manner that is gentle, compassionate and caring. Some issues are a little bit too sensitive, but not too sensitive if they might ruin a couple’s sex life if not discussed. A partner for example should share about what she or he really likes in bed; even what makes him or her orgasm (Mint, 2009).
This is because, when we fail to communicate about our sexual desires and needs, our partners make assumptions. A lot of time may be wasted trying to do futile activities, and this could be precluded by saying exactly what we like. Some women, for instance, experience orgasms when their clitoris is stimulated. Doing other stuff during sex only leads to frustration. Another has a heavy inclination towards a certain sex position for pleasurable sex. Therefore, the kind of communication also eaters a lot. Being erotically connected is essential in any relationship.
A partner should be able to reveal the type of sex they really want, without any inhibitions. Having a dialogue, whereby each partner is intent on listening rather than getting ready to rebut what their partner is about to say, is the starting point. Dialogue heals our unmet needs and brings us the love we want. To engage in dialogue may involve some few steps. The first is to make it safe for the dialogue to kick off. This is because, if it is not safe to talk, a couple will not talk after all. If for instance a partner becomes offensive, their mate will be hesitant to talk about whatever they wanted.
To create this safety, we should be appreciative of our partners. Complimenting them for things they did well or things they did for us. When one is appreciated, even if there was any tension, it is broken. Appreciation would thus be said to be the gateway to erotic conversations (Nelson, 2008). When it is safe to talk, a couple should then go ahead and look for a suitable venue and start the dialogue. The right mood is also paramount and an effort should be made to create it. Eye contact should be maintained during the talk. The couple should as well employ empathy in their dialogue.
Here, it is all about listening and understanding our partner’s erotic curiosity, without Judging them whatsoever (Nelson, 2008). It may sometimes be embarrassing to share some of our fantasies, but this is the only way we can achieve passionate, loving relationships. Couples who do not to talk about their sex-life so as to avoid negative consequences, the underlying risk is always graver. According to Mint (2009), good communication is the bedrock of good marriages; it will break or make it. When a couple engages in a conversation, pain and dissatisfaction are insisted.
Couples who communicate more tend to be more sexually active. When unhappy or disappointed with a partner, it is that time when effective communication comes in handy. Communication skills are vital for both partners, because as they say, it takes two to tango. Some of the guiding principles of effective communication include: asking for what you want, solving issues forth with and concentrating on solving and not assuming anything (Dodge, 2007). Each partner should be straightforward and not expect their mind to be read. Again, matters should not be allowed to accumulate without being alike over.
Still, the dialogue should not be about winning or losing, but rather solving the matter at hand. Any assumption about anything may be very erroneous and should be eschewed. With these, it is highly unlikely that effective communication will fail. 6. 0 Savoring sex Effect of mindfulness and meditation on sex and orgasm It is crucial that one is present during sex. Paying attention to the intention is a key to enjoyment of sex; that is focusing on the task at hand without worrying about other things. The mind stops flitting about, and distractions are brushed aside Richardson D. Amp; Richardson M. 2010). It is done by relaxing and letting go; not controlling anything. Sexual dysfunctions like erectile dysfunction are sometimes as a result of worrying too much about one’s sexual performance instead of practicing awareness of present experience with acceptance (Siegel, 2010). Some women who become dry or never attain orgasm experience this because of focusing too much on becoming lubricated or reaching orgasm. Mindfulness is capable of healing problems which even medicine might not. It should be practiced however, for its benefits to be realized.
For persons with anxiety and depression, mindfulness is helpful in their sex lives. Both anxiety and depression usually have negative effect on one’s sexuality and being mindful takes attention off any negative apprehension (Bubbler, 2011). Getting aroused for some women can also be an uphill task, but by being mindful and not concentrating too much on becoming aroused, they can overcome this (Dempsey, 2007). Daily life can also be aided by mindfulness. Again, it has to be learned and experience. All in all, great sex happens to those who are fully into the lovemaking act, who let the world fall aside.