Psychology Personal Reflection

1 January 2017

Death comes to everyone human being living on the planet. I view death in two ways the first one is a long-lived life where the person enjoyed their life and die of natural causes. The second one is a short-lived life they did not get to enjoy the life to which it was given to but taken away by an unforeseen cause.

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Visiting this cemetery brings me sadness and a eerie feeling, the weather is overcast cloudy and very cold, I can see sun rays ahead of me peaking through ever so lightly touching the tips of the trees seems similar to heaven showing a sign to me that even though I feel sad being here the people whose body that are buried in this ground is at rest in a better place up above. The tombstones appear as though they reflects the person who its representing, some are huge memorial stating to me that person was center if attention and wanted to be known when he/she stepped into a room filled with people.

Others are simple smaller in size on behalf of the person who may be timid and clam someone who you might find alone in a room filled of people. The set up of this cemetery fits the norm of the American culture, rows or tombstones evenly spaced out, surrounded by flowers left by loved ones. Each tombstone is uniquely designed. Today I am visiting my uncle who was lay to rest here ten years ago, I still see him, as he was when he was alive and healthy my family found out he had pancreatic cancer.

The cancer was shocking since he was still young in his early forties, to see my uncle degenerate before my eyes was very hard he was this strong man who then became a fragile, pale, thin man right before his death. I remember him saying that he was ready to die, because living on earth being helpless was not what he wanted to be a burden to his family. He told my aunt she should remarry later if she finds a partner and for my parents to help look his after my cousins all five of them who are now young adults and parents.

He was ready and prepare to die, he knew it was coming and less than a year later he passed away peacefully at home with his loved ones by his side. Having recently going through a traumatic life changing experience in a head on collision thinking death was coming straight my way, all I saw that horrific rainy night was head lights then the impact I was startled, frozen and in shock. I called 911 immediately to find out the only thing I could do was keep my seat belt on and hoped and prayed no one hits me from behind until California high way patrol came.

I find myself pondering about my life and how I would want to be remembered, I want to live a long fruitful and content life where I am capable to travel the world and be knowledgeable of the many cultures and practice my skills of nursing helping the unfortunate. Also spending every single moment of my life thanking God I still have more time here to spend with my loved ones. Life is very precious it was given to each of us for a purpose for the reason we may not know but the time we have ahead of us gets us closer to finding answers.

I want to be remembered as the fun loving, adventurous and bubbly person. My funeral should be a celebration of my life I want the mourning ritual to have my favorite songs played, I’m certain the genre would be country. I want to have my favorite flowers, which are orchids, plumeria, and color roses. My friends and family will each give a eulogy but the things that they will bring up are things that will be so memorable yet too funny to finish without them bursting in laughter.

I want to be cremated even though it is against my parents and some of my loved ones wished it’s my wish. Having a close call to death and coming out of it without a scratch I am very fortunate. I now see my life as a second chance given to me to do things and to use my time wisely. I have a young son, and to not see him grown up to be a successful young man would be devastating for me. I want to see my son grow up and experience what life has to offer with his mother by his side to support him through all the trials and tribulations.

I cannot bear to have any of my love ones morns because of my premature death. I know that every day stress with life such as school, work, family it is very hard some days I tell myself to take it one day at a time and to be grateful because in other parts of the world they worry about shelter, food and clean water to drink. Here in the states we have that a warm place to sleep at night away from the rain and cold weather.

My family migrated from a small village in Laos where there is no electricity, an out house, but my relatives who are still there live off the land and they are very happy with that life style. Me visiting from the states to a whole new environment was like stepping back into time, I can say living there for three weeks was an eye opening experience I will never forget nor change. Life is priceless we are all fortunate to have lived, to love and be loved.

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