Something I want to do over

5 May 2019

“Yixing! Stop!” my friend yelled.
I stopped chasing and frolicking, and turned my head to see what had happened.
Lu was sitting in the mud, bursting into tears; she was one of my good friends who had lived next to me for 10 years, played the same instrument I did, went to school together every day, talked with me several times each day. My friends told me I tripped her up. I suddenly squatted and checked her in fear and trembling. The situation was much worse than I thought. Her lips and left ear were bleeding; one of the teeth came out and the cry attracted many students who just got off the campus. I knew I was in trouble; I was scared like a bird on a wire. My body shivered. But instead of helping her up, I involuntarily rushed back home.
I didn’t hear mama’s greeting, didn’t smell the palatable food, didn’t take my shoes and backpack off; I charged to my room and closed the door sharply. The remorse preyed in my mind, I was worried, “How’s she? Do I need to pay something? I can’t let my mom know that!” That night was the longest night ever in my life; I tossed and turned restlessly on the bed and couldn’t sleep.
The next day, I noticed that her name hadn’t been checked on the attendance list; additionally, my friends who saw me escaped yesterday were “threatening” me that I was all up. They said she must in hospital. I was like living on a razor’s edge, scared, scared, scared.
She came back to class a week later. She looked no different but spoke inarticulately and never talked to me.
I will never forget how scared I was, how panic I was, and how timid I was. It’s like a thorn always twinges my heart faintly. I don’t know if the shyness or timidity affects my decision at that moment; it has been a deep stigma in my mind. Moreover, it’s the most important lesson I’ve learned ever since; it teaches me to face the responsibility.
If the clock goes back and I have the opportunity to do it over, I will help her up, give her some tissues to stop bleeding, take her to the hospital or back home, show my concern when she comes back. These small actions can easily resolve the ice-world between us and I don’t have to be so self-condemned till now.

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