The All Inclusive Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse

1 January 2017

When asked what people fear the most in a national survey, the number one answer was public speaking. I call hogwash. The threat of zombie apocalypse should be the instant answer. I don’t know about other people but I‘ve seen the movies. Humans are one failed attempt at curing cancer away from losing our heads, because zombies eat brains. Nothing in this world should be scarier than facing that prospect. In these dark times of fear and uncertainty, it is always handy to know what to do.

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As with any other state emergency, the zombie apocalypse is no different; humans must stick to their “how to” and survive. Obviously, the first (and best) course of action is to prevent the problem altogether. That means no catching rage viruses from monkeys, no messing with human genetics in order to create “super” soldiers, no attempting to cure cancer by infecting people with viruses that kill cancer and certainly, no contracting of hyper-rabies. They say an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. That’s what we’re working with here folks.

Keep zombies from happening, and we won’t need to deal with the problem. Assuming the worst has come to worst you’re now under the threat of brain eating, let us move on to the action plan. Keep a clear head and remember the plan. Nothing spells a quick death faster than panics favorite prey: logic. Always be aware of Clements 2 where the closest weapon shop is. For some it will be their homes. However, many won’t have been so prepared. So grab your car find the nearest gun shop, break in, and take as many weapons and as much ammo as you can safely carry to your car.

Then, with all your newfound armaments find the closest grocery store and load up on as much food as you can now fit into your vehicle. Now it’s on to phase two. Unless you are unfortunate enough to be at ground zero when the news hits of the zombie apocalypse, you’ll have access to uninfected people. Once you have completed the above steps it is time to find the people you want to ride out the storm with. Find and form a group of uninfected humans. The leader of the group should be the most knowledgeable on zombie fighting procedure.

Then, work together to gather arms, munitions, and food. After this key step is complete, it will be time for phase three. The next, but final and most paramount step is to find a safehouse. This is the place where the group will stay until zombieland is closed. Make it safe and secure, preferably isolated from the zombies; either on an island or a mountain. It’s here that the ground rules must laid out for the rest of oblivion. 1: Always have a lookout. 2: Never go out alone.

Don’t trust anyone outside of the group. : When outside, kill zombies and anyone not down with the zombie killing plan. 5: Stay safe follow the rules and live While some people may not believe that the zombie apocalypse is an inevitability. It is however, always prudent to have a plan rather than try and improvise or adapt to a new situation. Thankfully, with this action plan as a guide you have the know-how needed to survive. The zombies will starve to death and you can finally hook Clements 3 up with that woman from 3b and start repopulating the earth. Rejoice and celebrate a zombie free world. Well done.

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