The Importance of Similarity in Building a Friendship
What are the aspects of a real friendship? Usually people become friends when someone likes the qualities of another person, and he is attracted to the other because he saw in him similar aspects, and he found in this friend the person that he wants to be through his personality and appearance. Friendship is founded on a similarity of attitudes and behaviors between people. Some people do not agree with this supposition and think that friendship could be made between different people who are not similar to each other.
Unlike others who support the idea that they cannot be friends with people who are not same in their attitudes and behaviors. My point of view is the second idea. I agree that people cannot be friends if they are not similar. There are several reasons which led me to think like that. First of all, friendship is an empathy between friends. Also, this relationship is created by sharing and enjoying life. Finally, people who say they have friends that are not similar forgot that, later, the influence of each person on the other leads to similarity.
First, the empathy between friends is the most important characteristic of a relationship. They need to understand each other. You cannot be involved in a friendship if you are not empathetic with your supposed friend, and you feel a distance between you two. Later a lot of problems will appear, and you cannot continue that relationship. For example, when I came to New York, I met some classmates who I tried to make a friendship with. These people were from different countries and cultures. One of them was ejected from the group because he was not involved with the others.
We felt that this classmate was selfish and used people just to spend a good time. He was always present when we hung out, but we never saw him when someone needed help. Because we felt this, we could not be friends, and that shows empathy is a result of the similarity between friends. Next, there is sharing activities and enjoying life together because If people are similar they can share activities and enjoy life. If not, they cannot do activities together because one of them doesn’t want to do what he dislikes just to please his friend.
Even if he tries to do it, he will not enjoy it, and later he will be tired to do what he doesn’t like. Therefore, the relationship will be damaged. But if they are similar, they will enjoy sharing these activities. As a result, they will enjoy their lives together and not feel that they forced themselves to do what they don’t like just to please their friends. For instance, one of my friends in New York couldn’t stay in a relationship with me and my friends because we saw him only in class. He never came with us to play pool, go bowling, or play soccer.
We enjoyed life together, but he couldn’t follow our routine. Unconsciously, he chose to be far from us. If people are not similar, they cannot share and enjoy life together. Finally, there is the possibility to build a friendship with people who are not similar, but they forget their influences on each other. Of course, there are some friends who are not similar, and they accept each other, but the fact they accept the attitudes and behaviors of each other leads them to become similar through their relationship.
Afer time they will be influenced by each other because in the beginning of the relationship each one liked something in the other and hoped to be like the other. If there is no influence, the relationship cannot endure for a long time because people can’t accept friends’ qualities, behaviors, and manners which are against their own principals. In this context, I want to give an example about my best friend in whole my life. I have a friend named Malik. When I met Malik, I hated him. He made fun of people, was smoking drugs, and he complained about all things.
I was different. I never smoked drugs, I respected all people and I tried to enjoy my life. One time, I met him at a cafeteria of my college and we played a card game together. It was the first time I got close to him. Soon, we became best friends. He stopped doing drugs, and now he respects everyone, and he became a wiser man more than me I think. I think these changes in his attitude and behaviors were the result of my influence on him. In conclusion, people search and try to find a real friendship that can maintain throughout their lives.
Sometimes some of them find themselves in the personality of other people and they become friends. This attraction leads to understanding the basis of a real friendship. People tend to select their friends depending on their similarities in their attitudes and behaviors. Some people do not agree and support the idea that friends could be not similar. On the other hand, other people agree that similarity is a condition for a real relationship, and I am one of those people. Friendship needs empathy for people to be on in the same wavelength.
If not, friends will have in a lot of problems and misunderstandings. Empathy is a result of the similarity. Also, friendship needs sharing the same interests between friends. If not, a great part of your life has to be lived without sharing activities and enjoying life with your friends. Maybe people who believe that they don’t need to be similar when making a friendship forgot the fact of the influence that fuses the differences between them and leads these friends to be more similar.