The Package

1 January 2018

He starts to watch sponge again when Jon walks in with what is obviously a dead body wrapped in a yellow sheet. Oh my god! Terry looks in a panic. Jon drops the package down on the floor, face up. Terry rushes out from behind the (louder)Oh my god! Panic.

Jon is calmly glaring at terry. Oh! This is bad! This is very bad! (annoyed)What? I can’t do this! There’s Just no way! (angry)Why not? Just look at it! It’s a mess! (pointing at various points on the package) The wrapping material is COMPLETELY wrong! I don’t see anything wrong with it. Sir, I’m a professional.I can tell by Just looking at it hat it’s not water resistant… Look! It’s practically falling off as we speak! (shaking head) There’s no proper stabilization.

.. No handles… And these! (bending down and grabbing on large breasts) They’re all over the place! It might get caught in one of the conveyor belts! This is Just unacceptable! Terry gets up and circles the body, I don’t even see an adequate place to stick the label! (pointing to place near bloodstain)What about there? (bends down and feels the stained area with two fingers) What is that, blood? (moving eyes suspiciously)’ think it might be.

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Oh no! No! The anticoagulants in blood make it impossible for any adhesive to stabilize.

The label will come right off goodness-where and we’ll have to do the whole thing over again. (getting up) No! I can’t send this off without implementing a few creative packaging techniques. No question! Creative packaging? What’s that? Creative packaging is a science devoted to discovering the most space-efficient, aerodynamic, cost-effective, environmentally-friendly, attractive and practical modes of computing a collection of subroutines with related functionality. Jesus! How long is this going to take? Fine.Just go ahead and do what you have to do. I Just need to get out of here. Terry goes to the back and grabs a roll of tape, scissors and a box of materials.

Jon is fumbling in his pocket, takes out a passport. Going on a trip? You could say that. Terry puts his equipment down and grabs for the body. I’ll Just get the sheet off and… NO! Terry stops.

But… No! (beat) You’re Just going to have to do what you do In the sheet. Yes. In the sheet. O.

K. Alright. Terry stares at the package for a beat. Well, I’ll Just put a layer of wrap on it and tape it up a bit… Just to stabilize it.

That’s fine.Terry puts it in a large plastic bag. It doesn’t quite fit and so he spends time bending and fumbling with it. He finally gets it in and then begins taping. In the process of taping, he drops the head on the ground and it makes a cracking sound. It’ll cost extra, but I think you’ll want some bubble wrap. Bubble wrap? Yes.

Some of it seems to be a bit… Fragile. Jon looks at the item, sullen. Fragile? Yeah. You could say that.

Terry gets the bubble wrap and tapes. (mumbling to self and staring at the body) Fragile … You better believe it! She was so bucking fragile I felt like I was walking on eggshells my whole bucking life!Jon turns away from the body and lights a cigarette while Terry fumbles with the body and bubble wrap. Jon looks into the audience and begins a soliloquy, of sorts. Do you know what it’s like.

.. Not to be able to say a word or do anything without having someone tell you how stupid and horrible you are? As Terry fumbles with the wrap, the body suddenly begins choking Terry and they wrestle. Throughout the rest of Son’s speech, Terry struggles with the body and bubble wrap. I could come home and say that I Just made a million dollars on some real estate deal and…

You know what I’d get? Outs up his hands like a puppet and talking in a whiny voice) Any! Any! Any! Why did you do this? Why did you do that? You’re so bucking stupid! (beat) Yeah! I’m stupid! I’m stupid for putting up with that sit for almost twenty years! Terry is on top the body but it is choking him. Terry grabs a large bag of Styrofoam The body eventually goes limp. Again. Terry gets up, hair and clothes now disheveled. Peanuts? (Turning around, looking at Terry) What? (grabbing the bag of peanuts) Styrofoam peanuts. To prevent it from moving in the box. Look, forget the box.

Just slap a label on it and throw it n the truck, K?Are you sure? I can’t guarantee that it won’t get damaged in transit. I don’t think it’s possible to damage it any more than it already is. Well all right. Terry goes behind the counter and grabs sheets of paper and a pencil. Where’s it going to? Have you got the address? You said you deliver anywhere? Anytime. Anywhere. I don’t know the address.

.. You said it’s international, right? Wait! I’ll get the book. Terry grabs a large book and begins flipping. O. K..

. Nevada Del Uric. Hem…. Is that a resort? (shaking head) A volcano.

Terry stops flipping and looks up. (outraged) We can’t do that!

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The Package. (2018, Jan 18). Retrieved October 11, 2019, from https://newyorkessays.com/essay-the-package-1516/
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