Who I Was, Who I Am, Who Will I Be
Will I Be I dropped out in my Junior year of high school and never thought about how It was going to affect my life. I don’t believe I thought It would have an effect on my life In any way. I was young and I was arrogant for no reason and thought I knew It all. I managed to scrap by begging, borrowing, and stealing, to eat and have a place to sleep at night. I hate to say It but I have to attribute the majority of my decision to the Influences that were In my life at the time.I was taught that being a drop out and living below the poverty level was acceptable so I stopped caring and eventually dropped out.
“You have so much potential” is a phrase I heard a lot while I was growing up and the rest of that phrase should be “and it will take a life time to live up to” because we all start out with opportunities and potential.
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Every person ever born is going to have to make their own new path to the same old place. I am doing that very thing right now while I am writing this paper and I was making that path when I dropped out of high school.I was guided toward that decision early on in my Journey as we are all guided toward are respective decisions in the beginnings of our lives. The problem is that we think our decisions are our own and that is why it takes an entire life time because we actually have to live part of someone else’s life before we start to live our own. As a child I was always aware of how big all of the adults seemed to me especially the men. They all had deep voices and big arms covered in tattoos and I thought that I wanted to be Just like them.
I hung on every word and craved their attention more Han anything before or since that time in my life. I can still smell the smoke In the air and taste the “don’t tell anybody” sips of beer they gave me. I was so awed and enthralled with the way everyone acted that I was determined to live my life just Like them. So between what my mother tried to gulled me toward and what I thought I wanted I actually started out trying to live two different lives at once. I think all parents try to keep their kids from repeating the mistakes they made growing up. And all kids think they are doing things differently or their own way.No one can do wings their own way until they become their own person.
I had to see beyond the surface of what I thought I wanted and when I did I found out how little there really was. Gaining that insight is a big part of becoming your own person and starting to live your own life. I heard how I was making a terrible mistake and how I was throwing my life away: I was told that I’ll never amount to anything. Now the word is that it is a good thing about consequences and long term decision making. I have caused people that I do not know to change their perspective of my decisions Just by time passing.Not letting hose regrets, beliefs, worries and hopes of other people determine who you are is the end of living for anyone else. This part can be hard because it is new and you have to sort through what your life was and figure out what you think you want your life to be.
Now instead of influences I have the experiences that will start to determine who I might become. I know I am no longer awed or inspired by people that have no drive or character. I was who I thought they wanted me to be and then I decided to Just stop listening and then I was who I thought I wanted to be and now I am trying to be who I think I want to be.