You are my Sunshine
Her voice was quiet; he wasn’t sure f he was even actually hearing it or if he was Imagining It. “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine… you make me happy when skies are gray. ћ_” This was one that she had taught him. He couldn’t recall exactly when she taught him it, or who had been the one to teach her t. He was positive it was one ot the humans, either John or Jade. It seemed like a song that they would know, sappy and cheesy. It was probably John that taught her It. Either way It didn’t matter who had shown her it, but she sang it all the time. She sang it to him, or him, and she was always requesting for him to sing it with her.
She seemed to want nothing more than to duet with hlm_ “You’ll never know dearm_how much I love you… ” Naturally every single time she asked he had refused. Why would he ever sing, especially with her, or such a lame song? what a tucking stupid Idea. where did she even think of It? Did somebody suggest It to her? If It had been a suggestion then It was probably John, the boy seemed to be behind everything that bothered Karkat. “Please dont take my sunshine away. ” As his gaze was glued to the young troll lying on the floor, In a pool of her own olive lood, he couldn’t help but feel crushed by guilt.
This was his fault. That girl he had known, one of his closest friends – not that he was willing to admit it- was only a shadow of who she had once been. ‘The other mght dear, as I lay sleeping. ” Her pain was clear in her voice. How was she even singing at this point? It didn’t matter. He moved slowly, or at least it seemed to him. Kneeling beside her small torm he reached out and grabbed hers, holding it tight with his and interlacing their fingers. “l dreamed I held you In my arms___” He slowly moved to lay down beside her. smearing the image she had painted with er cnvn blood.
It was better to have the real him laying here next to her instead ot that palntlng_… rlght? As he stared at her, he didn’t know which was worse; the fact that he couldn’t help her, or the fact that if she survived this she would never be the same again. Would it be worse if she lived? There was no way that she could function to the same degree as before, not with the Injury she had received. Even now her voice held a different sound to It. Was It better If she died? “Nepeta…. ” He started, but was interrupted by her small, broken voice. “But when I awoke… dear…. as mistakenћ. ” This enure thing was his fault, he couldn’t protect her. what was he supposed to do now? How could he possibly save her? He had absolutely no idea. His gaze was drawn away to the prone form laying just a few feet away from them. He wanted to call out to him, to ask him what he was supposed to do. How the fuck he was supposed to handle this, but he knew that there was no use n do’ng so Equius was ever going to say a thing, he was never going to get up again. “So I hung my head and I cried. ” Regret hit him like a brick wall.. He was such a tuckass.
Before this he couldnt even ake the time to sing a stupid song with her _ How could he have been so terrible to her? He pushed her away at every chance he had. He hurt her over and over, rejected her, and tore down her ideas. How could he have continuously done so? Each time hand tightened and he let out a slow breath. He would do right by her at least once. “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. ” His voice rang out beside hers, or rather over hers. His was far louder and much stronger. He could feel the blood on the ground seeping through his clothing but his didn’t care, at least not at the moment.
He needed to make for being so rotten to her. He needed to make her happy for the last few moments that he was actually able to. “You make me happy when skies are gray. ” Still holding her hand tight, he reached out with his right and hook his arm around her back before tugging Nepeta into his arms. Her voice skipped dipped, she skipped a word in the line, the pain of being moved clearly great. She didn’t react otherwise though. She didn’t look at him, she didn’t cling to him. She Just continued to sing. He doubted she even realized that he was there, that he was holding her against him. “You’ll never know dear, how much I love you”
He clutched her tight against his chest, his grip becoming a steel beam around her. That time she reacted, her arm twitched, moving up a bit. His mind took it as a sign, a good sign. She was still registering her surroundings. She knew he was there. He refused to believe the logical part of his brain, the part telling him that it was an involuntary reflex. That it had nothing to do with her registering him being next to her. It didn’t matter, he was going to believe what he wanted to and at that moment he wanted to believe that there was hope for her. He grabbed her arm gently, the one that had twitched, and lifted it up.
He hooked it around his neck, listening to her breath hitch at the movement. He took the sound as her not wanting him to let go, not the fact that she was in pain. His eyes shut tight, blocking out the olive that surrounded them, blocking out the tragedy. With his eyes shut he could pretend that they were Just lying next to each other on the floor, laying on spilt faygo. That there was nothing wrong, that they were both fine. Or… at least he could try to pretend that. “Please don’t take my sunshine away. ” He refused to acknowledge the fact that her voice was fading ever so slowly. That ith every passing moment she become quieter.
He wanted to remain ignorant for as long as possible. She was tired, she Just needed a break from singing. That’s all that it was. After she had a moments rest she would be perfectly fine. She would look and him and smile wide. She would pounce on him and exclaim in her happy little voice ‘Karkitty! You sang with me! ‘. He would grumble and deny it. She would giggle and then she would insist that they sing again. And… that would be alright. If she wanted to sing the song again that would be perfectly fine with him. “Please don’t take…. my unshine away. ” His voice wavered, it wobbled.
The pitched falling in and out of tune, it echoed in the room. The only sound. His mind registered that there was only his voice now, that Nepeta had fallen silent but he didn’t take it into account. She Just needed a small break. She would Join in once more on the final line. She wouldn’t let him sing it on his own. “Please don’t take my sunshine away…. ” He whispered the last note, the song was over. Nepeta hadn’t rejoined in singing. It took him several moments to open his eyes; afraid to see what awaited, what he would need to face. The colors around him were tinted red, his vision blurring. He him.
He dragged his gaze to Nepeta. He stared at the young troll in his arms. He looked so peaceful, as if she were Just sleeping, her eyes were even shut. He kept his fingers tightly intertwined with hers as he lifted her free hand up and brushed the bangs from her eyes. Her skin was still warm. The image was almost perfect; he could nearly convince himself truly that she was Just sleeping except for the olive that stained her features. There was far too much. Her forehead was sticky, trail of olive blood flowing down it, already starting to dry slowly. A sad, small smile cracked his features, she looked so restful.